The Difference Between Hymns and Choruses

When we were out here visiting and househunting, and we went to Reston Bible Church, their worship leader read this to us all one Sunday, and we thought it was so funny. I actually tried to find it on the internet when we got back home, but I never could. I was happy to see someone post it today on the Well Trained Mind board, so I thought I would share it with you all now, if you haven't already seen and read this.

The difference between hymns and choruses

An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the farmer, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."

"Praise choruses?" said his wife. "What are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns only different," said the farmer.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The farmer said, "Well it's like this: If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn', well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you:

Martha, Martha, Martha Oh, Martha, Martha, MARTHA
the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows,
The COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, in the corn,
Corn, CORN, CORN, COOOORRRRRRNNNNNN;

Then, if I were to repeat the whole thing three or four times, well that would be a praise chorus."


Amazingly enough, on the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the city church attended the farmer's small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

"Well," said the young man, "It was good. They did something different, though. They sang hymns instead of praise choruses."

"Hymns?" said his wife. "What are those?"

"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like praise choruses, only different," said the young man.

"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.

The young man said, "Well, it's like this - If I were to say to you, 'Martha, the cows are in the corn', well, that would be a praise chorus. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you:

Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wonderous ear by and by
To the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.

For the way of the animals who can explain?
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God's sun or his rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.

Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn have chewed.

So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn.
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
and I no longer see those fould'd cows in the corn.

Then if I were to do only verses one, three and four, and do a key change on the last verse, well, that would be a hymn."