Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Spinning Plates

This weekend I felt like the guy spinning plates, and mine seemed like they were all getting ready to fall! I just felt so overwhelmed. We still haven't heard about our waiver request, which weighs heavily on me. I've been worried about gestational diabetes with this pregnancy--I know my risk increases with every pregnancy, and plus, I have a mother and an aunt with diabetes, plus I've had 2 babies over 9 pounds. So I have been being fanatical about exercising almost daily, and also adopting eating habits that possibly might prevent GD, such as eating small meals often, having protein with my snacks, and having some protein before I go to bed. But it's one more thing to keep track of during the day, and sometimes I feel like I could do that full time OR homeschool, but I'm having a hard time with both. I'm also concerned about all of Anna's spitting up, so I'm thinking about starting to pump again so she could have at least one more breastmilk bottle in the evening (but when do I have time to pump?!). And then I had to teach at co-op on Tuesday, so I was scurrying around trying to collect materials for the craft, type up my notes, hand-draw maps, etc. Whew!

But what really caused me to about throw in the towel was a small thing, mainly that Luke started losing things. Luke is my orderly one, the one who I can depend on to notice things and help me find things that are lost. But we spend about an hour before the soccer game on Saturday looking for his other purple soccer sock. One sock was beside his uniform. The other sock was nowhere to be found, and I mean we really turned the upstairs upside down looking. Finally he went off wearing black ones, but it really bothered me. Then thet next day we discovered that he had left his jacket at the field. This may seem very inconsequential to you, but that is because you are not a hormonal pregnant woman who has a system that is hanging by a very fine thread here! I have one jacket for about every size or so, and I just pass them down each new season. So Luke losing his light jacket means that I am missing one, and what will Caleb and Jonathan wear when it is their turn for this size? What if this new baby is a boy? What will he do?!! Iin tears, I told Bob that I didn't think I could keep track of any more people's stuff for this family, since I am obviously the only one doing so. It's too much!! Fortunately I then had the thought to call my Aunt Claire , who encouraged me and made me laugh. And then the Lord reminded me of a verse:

"To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy--to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power, and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore!" Jude 24-25

So first of all, this took my focus of me and my woes, and put it back on God, where it belongs. And secondly, it reminded me that I am not able to keep any of my plates from falling--that's the Lord's job. And through Him, I can have great joy! I felt much better, and I have continued to do so, thinking about this verse.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hugs my friend. Lots of spinning plates is very stressful. I know you will find a way thru this and frankly, it looks as if you already have.
Love, P.