Socialization Woes

One thing that homeschooling parents are always asked about is socialization. People are very concerned that because our kids aren't in school, they must therefore be locked up in their closets all day, seeing and interacting with no one else! Of course, that is ridiculous, and for our family, the boys are involved in AWANA, the track club, our homeschool co-op, our Bible study group, and church. We also have several neighbor kids that they enjoy playing with. One is a little boy named Kevin, who is the same age as Nathan, and who has one younger sister who is about 4. Whenever Nathan, Luke, and Kevin play together, Luke inevitably ends up coming home crying that they won't let him play with them. Usually they are playing some sort of sports-related game, and they won't throw him the ball or give him a turn or whatever. I have told Luke many times that crying is NOT the way to get people to play more with you, but the fact remains that Kevin thinks of Luke as a "baby" because he is younger, and so he likes to kind of pick on him. Nathan feels honored or something to be chosen as fun to play with, so he doesn't stick up for Luke (a big problem in and of itself), but he does always appear at home a few minutes after Luke comes crying, since he knows I'll be wanting to talk to him and it's not good. Now Nathan and Luke have a really good relationship, and they enjoy playing together and are certainly at a similar level in their play. But really all the boys play well together, regardless of age, because well, they have to. There's often not anyone else around. They know that sometimes you just have to adjust how you are playing to accomodate the younger sibling. It is so sweet to watch Nathan play with Jonathan by helping him build something out of Duplos or set up the Little People. Luke and Caleb have started playing together a lot since Nathan chooses to read more often than Luke would like! And Caleb and Jonathan play together while Nathan and Luke are doing their schoolwork. I really have a problem with the mindset that you can only play and have fun with someone if they are the exact same age as you are, but it seems to me that is exactly what is coming out of the traditional school setting, where everyone is caged up with people their same age all day long, all year long. No one learns to adjust their level of play to make it fun for everyone, and people end up learning that it's okay to pick on younger kids. Most of the families we socialize with on a regular basis are big, homschooling families like ours, so this hasn't been a problem there. But I'm just not sure how to deal with it here on our street. For sure I'll keep on working with Nathan to not just follow, but to do what he knows is right. Maybe I'll mention it to Kevin's mother too--I'll tell her I'm worried about his socialization.