This was written by Nicholson, who posts on the Well-Trained Mind message boards. I thought it was funny! THE TEN TREE COMMANDMENTS Rule #1: Thou shalt assemble the artificial tree and bend the branches for no less than one hour for a realistic appearance. Rule #2: Then thou shalt apply the lights beginning at the top of the tree progessing to the bottom, taking the strand all the way to the center of the tree and out again on every single branch or thou wilt be smitten. Rule #3: Concerning the number of lights. Thou shalt strive for the perfection and beauty of not less than 10 100 light strands for a total of 1000 lights. Less than this and it shall be proclaimed an "ugly" tree. Rule #4: Thou shalt then begin apply the ornaments. Small ornaments shall go at the top. Large ornaments for the base. Thy tree must be proportional. Rule #5: THOU SHALT NOT ALLOW THE ORNAMENTS TO SIT ON THE BRANCH BENEATH THEM! IT IS AN ABOMINATION!!! THEY MUST SWING FREELY ON THE TREE! Rule #6: Thou shalt consider thy work no less than every three ornaments placed by standing back and looking for "holes" in thy tree. Fill the wretched holes with ornaments. Rule #7: Thou shalt decorate the WHOLE tree front and back. Place the old scratched ornaments on the back of the tree lest it be naked. Rule #8: After the ornaments come the garland. This must be artfully draped in even "swags". Then though shalt humor thy grandmother to come "adjust" the parts she condemns as uneven. Rule #9: Lastly, though mayest apply tinsel to thy tree. NOT IN GREAT GOBS but by no more than 5 strands at one time. Then thou must be a good steward of thy tinsel being ever-watchful to not pass too closely by the tree, lest you remove the tinsel causing a bald spot. Rule #10: Thou must promise on pain of death to return on New Year's Day to dismantle thy grandmother's tree or guilt wilt follow thou all the days of thy life.
1 comment:
Of course the first few rules can be made much easier by buying a tree with the lights already on there! That's what we did last year and it's wonderful...I finally have enough lights on the tree and Jim doesn't have to string them!! Ta-da! Both of us happy campers! Now, about the tinsel...I have it on very good authority (Nana) that the tinsel should be strung no more than two strands at once!!! And then, once Christmas is over, then you save each strand of tinsel so that you may reuse it year after year after year after..... :) Also, kudos to the computer guy in the last blog but greater kudos to your dad for the wiring!!! What a guy! Love, AC
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